So I read on LaLaGirl’s blog, who read on Joelle’s blog, about needing some blogging inspiration and they are both doing a 30 day sort-of writing challenge where every day for 30 days they answer a question or discuss a topic about themselves.  I have read through the list… and some seam easy and some seam hard… but I am up for a challenge and god knows I need to dust the cobwebs off around here and post more, so I am game and will do it too!  Here are the thirty questions/topics:

Day 01 — Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 — Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 — Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 — Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 — Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 — Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 — Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 — Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 — Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 — Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 — A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 — A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 — Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 — Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 — A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 — Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 — What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 — Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 — (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 — Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 — Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 — Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 — The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 — Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 — What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 — What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 — Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 — A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

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Day 01 — Something you hate about yourself.

There are several things (probably more) that I hate about myself, but I would have to say that the one that comes to mind first and that I think about most often would be my inability to RELAX and LET THINGS GO.  I have some serious OCD tendencies, and this falls under that domain and it varies big time from small minute things to HUGE ongoing issues in my life.  It could be as small as getting the housework done (ALL DONE in a manner that is deemed acceptable to ME) BEFORE all the planned activities for the weekend occur, or knowing something that needs to get done and not having the time to get it done.  Most people can shrug it off and say “oh well screw it…” but I have a hard time with that… it consumes me and I don’t feel like I can move forward until I can mentally check it off the list.  Which leads to the mental list… my brain never stops, I am constantly going over this mental list of everything that needs to get done and it is exhausting.  I would give anything to be able to have a “f*ck it” type attitude so that I could RELAX and enjoy more and stress less.  I feel like in a lot of ways it is a debilitating trait to have.  I am organized as crap… but feel cheated in other areas.  And it is not something I can just change about myself.  I wish it was.