My co-worker, Christopher May, loves when he gets a good SPAM email in his junk mail folder at work.  He will take the time to respond to the SPAM messages.  It is SUCH an honor that he decides to copy me on those responses.

From: Climate Change [mailto:nmf.climate1@gmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 31, 2013 7:07 PM
Subject: Climate Change Awareness Fund

Attn: Sir/Madam,

View attached letter and contact Prof. Clarke

Thanks,
Ms. Figueres

From: Christopher May
Sent: Friday, November 01, 2013 10:00 AM
To: Climate Change
Subject: RE: Climate Change Awareness Fund

Dear Ms. Figueres,

Thank you so much for the information. I contacted “the Professor” and he was quite informative, but I believe that he may be under duress (or possibly struggling with his opiate addiction – which, by the way, he says you are acutely aware of). I am not sure how to proceed with “the fund” knowing that Professor Clarke will be unable to provide assistance in the usual manner. As you know, his vintage VW Bus is in the shop (again) and he is unable to leave town until they clear out the gas lines from yet another attempt at skirting the gas industry (bravo, Professor!). Without reliable transportation and my second battle with gout in full bloom I find myself stranded at my apartment, forced to watch the action from the sidelines. On a good note, I am pleased to tell you that my new remote control arrived in the mail yesterday (thank you) and I am able to now watch more than one channel. Although I will miss the recurring episodes of Hogans Heros and the Brady Bunch that TV Land is so fond of, I think my new ability to change channels bodes well for me and is a sign that the universe is finally seeing that I get a fair shake. Wouldn’t you agree? Anyway, I have made arrangements with the Professor to establish a carrier pigeon service between our respective locations so that we may continue our conversation without the hindrances of “prying eyes” (I think you know who I am talking about…). I should be in touch within a fortnight to report our progress. “The Fund” lives on despite our recent setbacks and I can assure you that once the bus is up and running we can continue our forays into climate change joy (may it live forever!).

With that, my dear Ms. Figueres, I bid you adieu. Per protocol (and per “the Fund” handbook), I have reattached the LETTER. Please view immediately.

Sincerely,
                 
Mr. Figueres