To say that Dena and I drank too much on Saturday night would be a slight understatement. We went to her daughter Cristin’s apartment for her birthday party/sex toy party and made the mistake of not eating very much throughout the day and then drinking heavily once we were there. I know that I personally drank an entire bottle of coconut rum and Dena drank almost a whole jug of Mojitos. I also know that we drank a whole bottle of Southern Comfort doing shots, because I was the one that opened the bottle, poured us our shots each time and I was also the one that turned the bottle upside down and deposited it into the trash can, while muttering “HOLY SHIT I can’t believe we drank the whole bottle!”

 

During the course of all the drinking, there was a lot of fun stuff going on, like a race to see who could put a condom onto a banana the fastest without using any hands (Dena’s daughter won this BTW - we were so proud), tasting all kinds of lotions and potions that do all kinds of naughty things for you and of course the passing around of lots of different vibrating and spinning toys. There was a pool that you could join in on by paying $3 for a square on this piece of paper, the winner got all the money collected - which happened to be me! So I got $72 in credit towards my purchases at the end of the night! It did not take me long to put that money to good use.

Once I did my best to clean Cristin’s apartment, so that it would not be a mess for her in the morning, Dena and I decided to head to a bar near her house. We had a couple drinks there, then decided it would be fun to walk to another bar in a different shopping center, because we are idiots. It was when we were having a drink at this bar that we became painfully aware of just how drunk we really were and and that we needed something in our stomachs to soak up some liquor. That is when we decided to head towards 7-11 - fine late night dining at it’s best. Apparently, when I am that drunk, 7-11 Steak and Cheese Go-Go Taquitos sound delicious (when I am sober, these are the most vile things ever produced) and are best when washed down with Lemonade (also something I would not buy sober). Dena likes chili cheese hot dogs and Kettle chips when she is wasted, in case you are wondering. We took our late night meals back to Dena’s house, where we walked quietly past Adam sleeping on the couch to the back deck. As we ate our food, I took turns prank calling Adam in the house from the deck and prank calling Todd’s cell phone, while he was flying home from Alaska. Both of which, made sure to remind us that we were dumbasses.

I wish I could say that I will not do this again, but we will be out this week, shopping for liquor for our Best Farewell to Summer Party EVAH, happening this upcoming Saturday… and I am pretty sure that I will be equally as drunk that night as well. Summer needs to hurry up and end, for my liver’s sake!