Our company has an IT division that works with a lot of the smaller contractors in the area helping them with their office networking, company websites and all their IT needs. For one company in particular, we had to set up a SharePoint collaboration site for them to use in-house for all their processes and document management. Yesterday we held a training session in our office for about six of their employees to show them the ins and outs of SharePoint. About half way through the meeting, one of the women very abruptly asked where the bathroom was and then rushed out of the room. She was in there for a while before she rejoined the meeting.

Well, later that afternoon, I found out why she took so long… because she completely snapped our freaking toilet seat in two! How in the hell do you snap a perfectly good toilet seat in two? I mean I could understand if over the years, a crack had started to develop and then it finally snapped… but that was not the case with this particular seat. It was in perfect condition (well as perfect a condition as a toilet seat can be). Her ass must have been ready to literally explode, when she slammed it down on that seat. And then… can you imagine how she must have been feeling in there after she realized what she had done? Holy shit I would have died! DIED! I hope that it did not pinch her ass when it was time to get up - OUCH!

My boss went out and got us another one after the meeting, while he was out for lunch. He wasted no time - thank goodness for us. I joked with him when he got back, because I have been asking for a new office chair for like three years now - it has become like a company-wide joke - anytime we get something new in the office, I ask during our weekly meeting “How much did that cost? - Hmmm, you could have gotten me a new chair for that price!” Everyone kind of laughs and then someone will usually say “For Christ’s sake will someone get her a new damn chair already!” Well I told him that I was going to invite that lady back to the office and have her sit in my chair… when she snaps it in two, he will be forced to get me a new one! He said no, that he would move my office into the bathroom and let me sit on the new toilet seat. Ass.