Posted At: Chatty’s
Theme: Confessions
Okay… Since I am a privileged guest here and my husband does not know this web address, I feel I can let my hair down and post a funny little story about him (you didn’t think I would be confessing something about myself, did you? Oh hell no! I am not going to pass up a chance to embarrass my husband without him knowing)!
When my husband and I met, we were quite the party-goers! It was nothing for us to blow and entire paycheck at the bar on a Friday or Saturday night. Well, we had been seeing each other for about three or four months before I ever spent the night. The night I did, we were very drunk – we had been doing shots of jagermeister ALL night. We passed out at his place and at around 3:30 in the morning, I awoke to something warm and wet on my back. I laid there for a minute, thinking “No, it cannot be? How the hell am I going to get out of this situation?” Yes my friends, he had pissed the bed. This big 200 pound, tattooed, tough guy had pissed the bed. This was the beginning of his peeing problem!
I really liked this guy and I knew he was VERY drunk, so I got up and went home and never mentioned it again…until, one night we were hanging out with a close friend of ours (drinking) and the friend decides to tell me about my husband peeing on him in the hotel room on their Florida trip. I immediately blurt out – “He pissed on you too?” And my husband says “What the hell do you mean, you too?” I said “You know that first night I ever stayed the night? You peed on me and I got up and went home. Didn’t you ever wonder why the hell I left?” He said to both of us – “You guys are idiots!” but we really did not hear him, because we were laughing so hard at this point.
You see, my husband can drink two cases of beer and be fine! The second he starts drinking liquor, he is going to pee somewhere in the house that is not the bathroom. He has peed in the closet, the corner of the room, on the stairs and the last time we went camping, he peed on half of the damn food. And every time – you catch him in the act and yell “STOP, That’s not the bathroom!” he says the same thing…”I got it under control dude! I am a grown ass man!”
Since we have gotten married and had kids, our drinking days are long gone – but I never pass up a chance to remind him of his “problem.” It is very rare that he drinks liquor anymore – but when he does, you can bet I sleep with one eye open and some carpet cleaner and rag close by!
soapbox.SUPERSTAR
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