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soapboxSUPERSTAR

Apr
27
2006

My Main Man Moses

When I met Todd, he had a Red-Nosed Staffordshire Terrier named Moses.  Moses was the most well-behaved dog and was just plain awesome in every way!  Moses has always been much more than a dog to Todd, he has been like a child.  Todd picked him out right after he was born, helped wean him and everything.  Once we had been dating a while and were living together, Moses became my steady running partner.  He would run 3 to 5 miles everyday with me and I never needed a leash.  When he saw me put my running shoes on he would go berserk and wait panting at the front door.

One morning, after we got back from running, I let Moses stay in the back yard for a few minutes, while I ran upstairs to get some water.  When I came back down, Moses was gone.  I looked all over the yard for him and called his name like a million times, but he did not respond.  I started to panic.  I spent 45 minutes running through the neighborhood calling for him – this was so not like him and I was really getting scared.  Finally I broke down and decided it was time to wake up Todd and tell him.  I was crying so hard and I went into our bedroom, he woke up immediately and asked what the hell was wrong.

I started crying even harder and could barely talk, I said “I can’t find Moses” – before I could even finish my sentence, Todd was up and running towards his truck, he didn’t even realize that he was completely naked till he was half way there.  He jumped into his truck (after putting on some clothes of course - get your minds out of the gutter) and took off and I continued running through the neighborhood on foot, crying the whole time.  Todd drove up behind me and said he could not find him and to get in the truck and we would go call the local animal shelter.

We got back to the house and went upstairs.  I was still crying like a basket case, cause I had lost Moses, who meant more to Todd than anything.  Cliff (our roommate) heard all the commotion and came out of his room wiping his eyes, muttering “What the hell is going on?”  Before Todd or I could say a word, Moses came out of Cliff’s room yawning.  That damn dog had gone up the back deck stairs, scratched on Cliff’s door and climbed in bed with him.  We had spent two hours freaking out for nothing.  If you could have seen the look on that dog’s face, like “what’s up guys?  what’s wrong” – Ugggghhhhh!  I could have killed him – but was SO DAMN thankful that I had not lost him.  Todd and I may have never ended up getting married if I had!

Moses is almost 11 years old now and is still a big ham.  I read an article this morning about a Pit Bull attack that actually made me smile, because for once it wasn’t the Pit Bull that was being blamed.  It made me think about wonderful Mr. Moses!

In a muddy field just off Salter’s Creek Road in Hampton, Edward Alexander was attacked by three pit bulls. The attack has left him with deep gash wounds on his back, legs, and shoulder.

Alexander is blaming the dogs owner for the attack that occurred last week.But the dogs owner says Alexander was trespassing on private property and that Alexander provoked the attack.

Animal Control agrees with the dog’s owner and says that Alexander provoked the attack.

The health department is making the dogs owner keep the dogs inside for 10 days…as a precaution for rabies. That standard whenever a dog attacks someone.

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Apr
24
2006

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Sent to me by my good buddy Delane and damn if it isn’t the truth!  Too bad Ashton got treated like the third child!

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.


The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.


Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.


Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.


At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of ever y day hiding from the children.


Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

Show Less

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Apr
20
2006

Six Random Facts

Six Random Facts About Me
Courtesy of my dear friend Renee!

01. I wear flip flops all year long (black reef flip flops). I wear them at home and at work. I own “flip-flop socks” for the winter time. I keep a pair of socks and boots in my car in case I have to go to a jobsite. I have bartered with my boss so that I can wear them to work. My daughter is starting to act the same damn way!

02. If it did not pose a health risk, I could seriously live off of Skittles and Pepsi. In fact, if someone invented Skittles flavored Pepsi - I would probably combust from my excitement. Combust a sticky rainbow of fruit flavors, that is!

03. If I get poison ivy, I get it so bad that I usually require heavy doses of steroids and hospitalization. Somehow, I usually always end up getting it on my face and looking like Freddy Krueger (which my sister and brother love and my mother will not be seen in public with). I am so sensitive to it, that I can contract it if someone is burning leaves and burn some poison ivy and I happen to walk through the smoke.

04. I think I have said this before, but during meals, I eat only one thing at a time until it is finished. For example, I would eat all my mashed potatoes, then all of my broccoli, then all my meat. I never mix it up. I have always eaten like this.

05. Maybe I’ve told you this one too. I cannot drink out of glasses, only plastic cups. For some reason a glass makes my drink taste funny to me and if there are more than three ice cubes, I need a straw. I cannot stand sipping out of a drink and have to fight with the damn ice to get the drink in my mouth!

06. As loud mouthed and open as I am, I cannot crap while my husband is around (or anyone for that matter). When we were first dating, I would make up excuses to go to the store or home if I had to go. Now, I wait till he leaves the house. If I cannot wait, I definitely sneak upstairs quietly and hope he does not notice. If he does notice, he does not let me live it down. He thinks it is hilarious that I am so embarrassed by it and will stand outside the door the whole time I am in there shouting “What are you doing? Hmmm, what? Are you poopin in there? Are you crappin? Huh, what are you doing?” He will probably do this till the day I die (which will look real cute at the nursing home).

I tag anyone who feels like sharing some stuff - leave me a comment and let me know you did it!

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Apr
19
2006

A Few Things…

First of all I want to introduce my sister to the blogging world! She asked if I could set her up with something and I was more than happy to do so. I need everyone to go over and say hello and get her really pumped up, so that she will be a consistent blogger. So go now to www.simplehippie.com and introduce yourselves. If you feel like telling her something wonderful about me…feel free to do so! Don’t forget to blogroll her!

Second, I wanted to make everyone aware of a couple useful blogging tools. What, you did not ask for my advice? Well too bad, cause you are getting it!

The first is Pingomatic. I don’t know about you guys, but when I go to my blogroll (when I actually have a minute of time to myself) I have a few that I go see religiously everyday, then I go to whoever I see has updated. A lot of people do not ping their sites when they update, so I will go a week thinking the person has not updated, then pop in and see that they have updated like four times. You can go to Pingomatic and ping your site, so that it will show up as updated on everyone’s blogroll. You can also do this through blogrolling’s site, but Pingomatic covers more ground! So please ping people, so I know your alive!

The next one is Gravatar. A lot of people use Gravatar plugins in their comments on their blogs - those are those little pictures you see associated with someone’s comment. If you do not have one listed with Gravatar’s website, then you won’t have a picture in people’s comments. So make yourself a pretty little 80 pixel x 80 pixel picture that fits your style and go to that website and register with the email address that you always comment with (cause that is how they associate the picture with you) and upload your picture. If you are not sure how to create one, send me the picture you want to use and I will help you out! **In singing voice…“Cause that’s what friends are for…”

Okay, that is all for now. I really need to get some work done now!

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Apr
18
2006

The Rock Bitch-Part Duex!

She’s Baaaaack!  It is “The Rock Bitch,” so please go over and say hello to her and tell her that I sent you.  This is her second time renting from me and always a pleasure.  Go to the sidebar and get clickin~

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