I am Dena’s “Monday Morality Buster” this week, thanks to my little run in with the law last week!  Yeah!!!

This morning started out like every other morning - get ready, take kids to school, drive to work while I talk to Dena on the phone. I was at a light and a police officer was behind me and I said to Dena, kind of laughing, “there is a cop behind me and I am pretty sure he is running my plates - you know how you can tell, cause they keep looking at the back of your car and then down at their little computer…” The light turned green and I made my left hand turn. Before I even completed the turn, his lights were on and I said to Dena, “Shit, I have to go, he is seriously pulling me over.”

I pulled into the Mall parking lot and put my car in drive, while going through the checklist in my head, was I speeding? No, Was my seat-belt on? Yes, was I swerving? Nope, too early for that. I was clueless! I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw him getting out of his car. Before I could blink my eyes, he had his gun drawn and was yelling at me to slowly get out of my vehicle and put my hands on the hood of the car. I WAS SCARED SHITLESS!!! WTF - who does this guy think I am, in my hibiscus capri’s, a polo shirt and my brown leather flip flops? Do I look like some thug?

POLICE MAN:
Is this your vehicle?

ME:
Ummm Yes! **as I am shaking like I am having a seizure**

POLICE MAN:
Where did you get the license plates on this vehicle?

ME:
From DMV, like five years ago.

POLICE MAN:
I need to see your license and registration, you can wait right here for a moment and relax.

Relax? I just shit in my underwear and I am crying so hard that there is mascara running down my face, WTF do you mean relax? I am thinking about all the people that I know that are going to see me on Crime Solvers or COPS, not to mention I was now late for work…again.

Well, after a lot of me crying and a lot of him telling me to calm down, it was figured out that the dealer I purchased my car from did not transfer my plates and they were still registered to my Expedition - so he thought I was driving a stolen vehicle. Thank god I had the receipt from the dealer in my glove-box to show that I had paid the dealer to transfer the tags for me. So he eased up and believed my story. But he still wrote me a damn ticket! For “Fictitious Tags.” I have to go to court and show him that I have taken care of the issue. ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!

Is it just me, or does everyone lose more hair during certain parts of the year.  There are times when I don’t ever notice losing a single hair and other times when it looks like a damn, small, furry animal crawled onto my hairbrush and died.  Lately, I have had to clean out my brush every other day.  If I run my fingers through my hair, I will have like 15-30 pieces of hair in my hand each time.  Now granted, I have VERY long hair - but damn this is a little much!

I tried looking it up online and this is all I could find:

The shed cycle in humans has not been investigated in much detail, but a few studies from the UK demonstrate the seasonal shed cycles. Although there is an increase in shedding during spring and fall, the number of hairs shed still falls within the generally recognized limits of 50 to 100 hairs a day. So in spring and fall the daily shed rate may be closer to 100 hairs a day and in summer and late winter the typical shed rate may be closer to 50 hairs a day. However, the average rate of shedding does vary from person to person. Some people can be high shedders, but also have high rates of hair growth and replacement so they have no net hair loss. To understand your own seasonal hair shedding it is better to compare the hair shed rate in spring/fall to summer/winter within yourself rather than compare it to other people.

I guess I am just a “high shedder.”  My poor poor vacuum cleaner!

A collection of thoughts and other stuff not worthy of a full post.

I thought I would post my usual Saturday’s Sundries post, since my slack-ass did not post it on Saturday! So what if it’s Monday! So, lets get started, shall we?

Last week, Kaiden fell at school and banged herself up pretty bad - her whole elbow and knee on one side were pretty bloody. My child does not take pain too well and always milks it for ALL it’s worth. She would not let me take the bandaids off for like five days. Finally I got her to take them off in the bathtub and told her they had to stay off so the cuts could heal. After bath and pajamas, we went downstairs to watch some T.V. Kaiden starts gagging and dry heaving (the child has zero gag reflex and pukes at the drop of a hat) and screaming “Oh God, what’s that smell? Mommy do you smell it? What is it?” I could not smell anything. Then she screams “Oh it’s my boo-boos mommy, why do they stink so bad?” She came over to me and it took everything in me not to puke too - they stunk cause she would not take those damn bandaids off. We had to dab perfume around the perimeter of the boo-boos so that we could tolerate her funky stench till they aired out - blech! Just thought I would share!!!

Does anyone else suffer from Blog Guilt? Good lord people, I have been slack at posting and reading and for some reason I feel guilty as hell. I have been legitimately busy lately and really have not had the time, but geesh - the guilt!!!

On Saturday, Dena and I took the kids to the Zoo. Ashton has been really in to animals lately and I wanted him to be able to see them. Ethan and Kaiden ran around like out of control monkey’s and did not listen to a word we said all day. They also had quite the lover’s spat, which you can read about here. All in all it was a great day! Seriously - go read about the fight, it was hilarious!

If you are 40 years old, riding a moped down a busy street, wearing a construction hard hat as your helmet and toting a milk crate on the back of the moped to carry your tools in, then you may as well attach a sign that says “I am a big fat loser that got three DUI’s and now I am forced to take the Moped to work!” Just sayin….

On Sunday, it was picture day for Kaiden’s Ballet school. The recital is on the 20th, and we had to go get the photos done yesterday. Here is a picture of her and her friend Haley in there little outfits. Kaiden hates the outfit because it’s blue and not pink - and it is a known fact, according to Kaiden, that pretty ballerinas wear pink! They will be performing a little tap number to “I’m Just a Broadway Baby.” Her class is the second performance in the first act - thank god!!!! So we can book it the hell out of there early!

Okay, I am done!

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