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as·tra·pho·bi·a
noun
An abnormal and persistent fear of thunderstorms. Sufferers experience anxiety even when they realize the risk of harm is very small. Consequently, when indoors they might seek shelter under a bed, in a closet or in a basement. They generally keep a watchful eye on the sky and remain alert for reports of electrical storms.

Ashton has always, since he was teeny tiny, had issues with loud noises and certain other things like haircuts… oh lord, how I love haircut time with him, you would think I was stabbing him with machetes, over and over.  He was a preemie and finally, about two years ago, we came to understand that he has some mild sensory processing issues, probably as a result of being a preemie.  No biggie, it was mild and something that he could totally out-grow.  The only thing that seemed to bother him was loud noises and really chaotic situations (oh and haircuts).  Vacuums, jets flying overhead, etc have never sat well with Ashton.  Thunderstorms have never seemed to really bother him in the past, until about three weeks ago.  We were leaving my mom’s house and needed to stop by Subway on the way home to grab some grub and the sky was really black, so I was trying to haul butt to beat the storm.  While we were inside Subway - the sky DUMPED.  There was thunder and lightning and the lights inside Subway started flickering and then Ashton had a complete and total meltdown right then and there.  He was hyperventilating to the point of vomiting, crying uncontrollably and breaking out into hives.  I was trying to wait out the real heavy rain, but it became apparent (as the Subway staff were asking if they needed to call someone for me… like a damn paramedic) that we had to just make a run for it and get him home.  When we got home to no power - he just LOST IT.  I kept trying to explain to him that thunderstorms pass quickly and I lit candles and hugged him and told him to breathe deep - take deep breaths.  Once the storm passed, Dena and Ethan walked down with a flashlight and Ethan was able to take Ashton’s mind off the lights being off… which was a godsend.

For the next couple weeks, any time the sky has looked like rain, Ashton has gone into immediate panic mode, asking a million questions and is unable to calm down.  “Mom, is it going to rain?  Is there going to be a thunderstorm?  Mom, do those clouds over there look like maybe there will be a storm tonight?  Mom, do you think lightning is going to hit our house and we will lose power?”

Last night, the sky turned gray and as I was taking down my hanging baskets and placing them where the rain would hit them, I KNEW what I was in store for.  Then the first big crack of thunder hit, and sure enough, I immediately heard his footsteps running upstairs and then down the stairs.  His eyes were already soaked with tears and the hives had started breaking out on his forehead and arms.  “Mom, why does this keep happening?  I know God needs to water the plants, but why is there lightning with it?”  I spent the next 45 minutes talking him down… “Ashton, it’s okay, you need to take a deep breath and calm down… we are safe inside our house and everything is okay.  Take a deep breath honey, the power has not even gone out, everything is fine.”  He hyperventilated again to the point of puking, but was not as bad as the night at Subway.  The storm passed and he thought we were in the clear, until a second wave came through.  He spent the entire night pacing the floor, not able to relax and checking the windows constantly to see the conditions outside.  He did not want to play DS, he did not want to watch some TV, he did not want to leave my side and followed me around the house, checking windows the entire time… until finally, at 9:30 it stopped and he could go to sleep.

I do not know where this new fear of thunderstorms came from and I am hoping with everything that I have that it fades quickly, because I cannot tell you how hard it is as a parent, not to mention exhausting, to have to try and get your child through something like that.  It would be one thing if it was just your child saying they are scared, but when your child shows actual physical signs, such as hives, puking and hyperventilating, that they are scared to their core - it is very hard to deal with.  I am praying we make it through the rest of the school year without a thunderstorm hitting during school hours… and even more, I am praying that he works through this fear and things return to normal.

I subscribe to “The Positivity Blog” in my trusty Google RSS Reader and every once in a while, they send me an email outside of what is posted on the site.  This email was a good one and I thought I would share.

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” - Wayne Dyer

I think that becoming a happier person is not so much about changing external circumstances as it is about changing your thinking.  You can pile up tons of positive external stuff in your life but if your internals are messed up then your life won’t become that much better. And the thing is that if you get your thoughts into the right place then your outer world will start to align to those thoughts.

Now, there are quite a few ways to make yourself miserable. Here are a bunch of them that I believe are some of the most popular. I have used them time and time again. I still do from time to time.  I’d recommend decreasing these thought habits as much as possible. Ditching them all together might be hard. But over time you can cut down on them significantly.  To remind yourself of them you may want to print out this article or write down a few of these ways that you feel especially apply to you.  You can use those notes as reminders to put on the fridge or your bathroom mirror.

Compare everything you do to the lives and accomplishments of other people.
The problem with comparing yourself to others is that there will always be someone with more than you. So you get a car that is nicer than the ones your closest neighbors drive. And that feels awesome for a while. But then one day you see the young kid on the next block driving around in his new, cool and expensive sports car. And once again, you don’t feel so good anymore.  A more useful way of thinking is to compare yourself to yourself. Appreciate the progress you have made. Take a closer look at the areas where you aren’t improving as much as you’d like and try to figure out why. Then make a plan for how you can improve on those areas of your life.

Go along with what everyone else tells you. And try to please everyone.
Recognize that everyone will have opinions about what you can do. That doesn’t mean that you have to do what they say. You cannot live your life through the eyes of everyone else. Well, you can but then you’ll most likely feel a lot of pressure from every direction and not feel that well at all.  And even if you do try to please everyone you may find that some people aren’t pleased anyway. That’s because what they are saying doesn’t have much to do with you at all. What they are saying is just an outer reflection of their life and how they feel. If they didn’t say something negative to you then they would complain about cab drivers, dog owners or whoever popped up in their mind or in front of their nose.  Now I could tell you that you should always think for yourself instead and make your decisions on what you know. The problem I have found with that point of view is that you and I are bit like everyone else. We also like to feel like we are right and are sitting on the best advice. So what you are thinking is right may not always be the best solution.  So try to do some research. Ask people who have actually been where you want to go what they have learned. Try to base your decisions on something substantial. Then just take action. In the end you have to experiment, fail over and over again and discover what actually works for you.

Live in a sea of negative voices.
What you allow into your mind will affect you. So be selective. If you’re hanging out with negative people all the time then that can really drag you down. It’s not easy to stay optimistic when pessimism is the default mode in your world.  Another part of this is getting hooked on the news and prophecies of the sky falling. The sky is probably not falling.  Consider spending less time with negative voices. Cut back on - or cut out - seeing negative people. Cut back on watching the news or even more spectacularly negative TV-shows. You’ll find yourself with a chunk of new, free and fresh time to do something more fun.

Never mix things up or try something new.
This one is sneaky. It can fool you into feeling that things are pretty OK. You have your pleasant, safe routine. But underneath there are fuzzy negative feelings of dissatisfaction that sometimes move up to the surface. Remind yourself of the other times when you have tried something and how you most often don’t regret it at all. In fact, you probably had a pretty good time. Don’t fool yourself into complacency. I’m not saying that you need to go sky diving. But simply that it’s a good choice to mix things up, to get some diversity at least once in a while. The next time someone suggests trying something give a try. Or make a suggestion to your friends.

Spend too much of your time in the past and/or the future.
How much time do you spend thinking about something that has happened? Or on something that you think will happen? How much time do you actually spend thinking about and observing what is actually in front of your nose right now? It may seem like a pretty good idea to think about a great memory. Or dream about what you will do for the weekend or your vacation. And it is.
The thing is just that if you spend much time in the past or present then thoughts tend to spiral a bit out of control. You start to over-think. You imagine future scenarios in an almost compulsive way. You replay and reinterpret old memories. You trap yourself in a negative downward spirals and moods. Getting lost in these trains of thoughts is very easy. But you can also train yourself to keep a closer eye on your thoughts. If you start to question your own thoughts throughout the day with questions like: “is this useful?” then you can improve your understanding of what you are spending your time thinking about.  If you find what you are thinking isn’t really that useful just drop it and start thinking about something else. If you can’t just drop it - it isn’t easy sometimes - here are three suggestions:
1. Focus most of your thinking on finding a solution. Not on wallowing in your negative thoughts. There is often something you can do about a situation. Focus your mind on finding that or those solutions. Then take action. This can bring you out of a negative mood and make you see light at the end of the tunnel.
2. Focus on your breathing. Take a couple of dozen belly breaths and just focus your mind on your inhaling and exhaling. This will calm you down, release anxiety and align you with the present moment once again.
3. Focus on what is in front of you right now. Instead of thinking over and over again about what your boss told you yesterday or what you want for dinner just focus on what’s right in front of you. When you are driving actually observe what is happening in front of you. When you ride the bus observe the people, trees and buildings.  Like so much else, being present is a muscle you have to build. You learn to stay longer in the now and it becomes easier to snap back into it after some training.

Focus on what you don’t want.
If you focus on what you don’t want then that is what your focus system in your mind, your reticular activating system (RAS), will find. If you focus on how everything is going down the toilet then your RAS will let you notice examples of that in your surroundings.  You can only bring into focus what you are focusing on. The rest will blur into the background. So if you want to earn more money don’t focus on your lack of money. Focus on how you can make more money. Opportunities will jump out at you in conversations, while you are reading the paper or watching TV or while you are just walking down the street. It can be a bit freaky sometimes. Suddenly, after having changed your focus, something that has obviously been there for quite some time in the background jumps out at you.  Just focusing on what you want won’t solve your problems though. You still need to take action over and over to take advantage of your new-found opportunities.

Spend your time looking for magic pills.
Reading a book on personal development won’t solve your problems. It’s kinda devious though because reading the book can make you feel like you are making progress. But without action there is little progress.  But this pleasant feeling of making progress can become addictive. It gives you an emotional high. So you read another book. And another. And you become a personal development junkie.
Always looking for that one thing that will change your life. But there are no real magic pills. Some books are certainly more helpful than others. Especially if they wind up in your hand at the right time. When you are ready for them. And exposing your mind constantly to positive and helpful information is better than listening to negative voices. Over time it can help you change how you think and how you view your world.  But it is no substitute for taking action. Someone might try to sell you something that they promise will bring big rewards with basically no action on your part. That’s probably just a sales pitch. The product itself may be good, great or useless. You never really know. You just have to try it out by taking action and see for yourself.  My recommendation is to stop looking for magic pills. Instead just buy a classic personal development book from authors like Brian Tracy or Eckhart Tolle. Then actually follow one or two of their tips for 30 days. Just focus on that. Then move on to another couple of pieces of advice. This will give you better results than running around in circles looking for magic pills.

Take things too seriously.
Things are seldom really that serious. It’s most often your ego trying to fool you into thinking so. Because if your problems are serious, huge and important then that means that you must be important. It’s a way to try to raise your value for yourself and in the eyes of others.  It’s not a great way of thinking though. You’ll spend far too much time thinking about the past and the future. You’ll create irritability and instability within yourself that is reflected into the outside world. You’ll probably spend quite a bit of time being hard on yourself.  Being hard on yourself might sound a like a good idea to “teach yourself a lesson”. I believe it’s better to drop such behaviour and learn what you can from mistakes and then move on. Being hard on yourself just seems to create a lot of negativity and problems within yourself. All in all, by taking things too seriously you can really go down, down, down into a negative spiral.  Lightening up and not taking things too seriously is more pleasurable and useful thing to do.

All good advice - and you can never have enough of that.  :thumbsup:

Hope everyone has a wonderful Mother’s Day!  Mine has been wonderful.  My kids spoiled me rotten and have been on their best behavior… with a side of lots of hugs and kisses!

Posted via Bella the Blackberry.  

I am a huge fan of Fridays in general - but THIS particular Friday, I could not be happier to see arrive!  I am exhausted this week.  Work has been hectic and seems to ALWAYS be in emergency panic mode - because SOMEONE ELSE cannot get their shit together, and now it’s MY responsibility to save the day… always.  Kaiden has had a very busy dance/soccer week with her upcoming Dance Recital and with the upcoming Soccer Tournament - add in a soccer party and I am done!  We have not gotten home before 8pm one night this week - not once.  And once we do finally get home, it is the mad dash to get homework done, dinner eaten (yes, we have not been eating until freaking 8pm), bath time done, lunches made, etc.  Not to mention household chores that need to get done - laundry, trash out, etc.  I am tired.  I am mentally and physically exhausted.  Kaiden is happy though, so I am happy… no really I am.  :exhausted:

Wednesday morning I hit the wall.  It hit me like a ton of bricks that I was just completely run down.  I was SO tired that it took everything in me to get out of bed and get going with the day, knowing all that had to be done, and not instead, just stay in the bed, curl up in the fetal position and suck my thumb and cry.  So you can imagine, once Wednesday came to an end, how exciting going to sleep was for me.  I was having trouble winding down and going to sleep, but was just happy to be laying there trying… well I was happy until I felt something big hit me in the chest.

A F*CKING PALMETTO BUG!!!!  Our condos are surrounded by water, every spring, one or two of these disgusting, vile creatures makes it’s way into my house.  Wednesday night was that appearance!  It must have crawled up the wall behind my bed and attempted to walk across the ceiling (which is a popcorn ceiling) and lost it’s footing, falling ON TO MY CHEST - which is only a couple of inches away FROM MY MOUTH!!!  I felt it hit and instantly freaked the hell out, going into that convulsion state where you start shaking and using your hands to sweep every part of your body to JUST GET IT THE HELL OFF!

It went flying across the room and hit the ground running - the dog went lunging after it and I was right after the dog with my flip flop in hand.  That bug had to be destroyed, because if it got away and was able to hide - I would not be able to use my bedroom for WEEKS.  I really wish that was an exaggeration!  I smashed the ever-loving crap out of that bug, then had to scoop it up using a dixie cup from the bathroom and a piece of paper and flush it.  I then had to begin the mandatory post-bug-siting sweep of my room, tearing my bed to shreds to make sure there were no bugs in it, moving my entire bed (headboard/footboard) out from the wall so that I could check behind it and make sure there were no more bugs.  Checking all wall space, etc.  By the time it was all said and done, it was 3am before I went to sleep.  On a night that I REALLY needed to sleep - I got next to none.

I am tired.  I am so glad it is Friday.  I really hate bugs.