To say that Dena and I drank too much on Saturday night would be a slight understatement. We went to her daughter Cristin’s apartment for her birthday party/sex toy party and made the mistake of not eating very much throughout the day and then drinking heavily once we were there. I know that I personally drank an entire bottle of coconut rum and Dena drank almost a whole jug of Mojitos. I also know that we drank a whole bottle of Southern Comfort doing shots, because I was the one that opened the bottle, poured us our shots each time and I was also the one that turned the bottle upside down and deposited it into the trash can, while muttering “HOLY SHIT I can’t believe we drank the whole bottle!”

During the course of all the drinking, there was a lot of fun stuff going on, like a race to see who could put a condom onto a banana the fastest without using any hands (Dena’s daughter won this BTW - we were so proud), tasting all kinds of lotions and potions that do all kinds of naughty things for you and of course the passing around of lots of different vibrating and spinning toys. There was a pool that you could join in on by paying $3 for a square on this piece of paper, the winner got all the money collected - which happened to be me! So I got $72 in credit towards my purchases at the end of the night! It did not take me long to put that money to good use.

Once I did my best to clean Cristin’s apartment, so that it would not be a mess for her in the morning, Dena and I decided to head to a bar near her house. We had a couple drinks there, then decided it would be fun to walk to another bar in a different shopping center, because we are idiots. It was when we were having a drink at this bar that we became painfully aware of just how drunk we really were and and that we needed something in our stomachs to soak up some liquor. That is when we decided to head towards 7-11 - fine late night dining at it’s best. Apparently, when I am that drunk, 7-11 Steak and Cheese Go-Go Taquitos sound delicious (when I am sober, these are the most vile things ever produced) and are best when washed down with Lemonade (also something I would not buy sober). Dena likes chili cheese hot dogs and Kettle chips when she is wasted, in case you are wondering. We took our late night meals back to Dena’s house, where we walked quietly past Adam sleeping on the couch to the back deck. As we ate our food, I took turns prank calling Adam in the house from the deck and prank calling Todd’s cell phone, while he was flying home from Alaska. Both of which, made sure to remind us that we were dumbasses.

I wish I could say that I will not do this again, but we will be out this week, shopping for liquor for our Best Farewell to Summer Party EVAH, happening this upcoming Saturday… and I am pretty sure that I will be equally as drunk that night as well. Summer needs to hurry up and end, for my liver’s sake!

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Peggy says that I need to read this book with her.  I have not heard of the book before, but apparently it’s been out since 2005 and has been a big hit.  There is a whole series, and this is the first.  They are classified as “Young Adult” reading, but all the reviews that I read said to not let that sway you from reading it.  Smizzo - this book is right up your alley - it’s a Vampire novel!  You need to get it and read it too!  It is also being made into a movie that comes out in December 2008.  Anyways, I went and picked it up at lunch today, so we’ll see - hopefully it is good reading for the pool.  Dena can have it when I am done.

I will be the first person to say that big old hickeys on your neck are disgusting looking. In my opinion they just look trashy, but that does not mean that I will not give you one if I am challenged to do so! Saturday night I went out for some drinks with Dena and Adam. It was their anniversary, so I joined them for some cocktails. At some point, Dena joked with Adam and said that she was going to give him a hickey for their anniversary. He immediately started talking trash and saying she absolutely would not. At this point, I chimed in and said, “If she wants to give you one, she WILL give you one… what are you going to do about it?” He got all tough and manly and said - “The hell she will - I WILL NOT let her!” and he was backed up by some of the other men at the bar and they all kind of talked about how manly they all were and some other crap that we completely stopped listening to at that point. That is when Dena and I decided that it was going to be our mission to destroy his neck that night… you know, to prove a point, and because we had been drinking and stupid shit like that always seems like a good idea to Dena and I when we are drinking together.

We talked it out and decided we would hold him down and each get one side of his neck, when he was not expecting it. We kept using the phrase “We’ll attack him like Spider Monkeys” and when we said it, Dena would make these little clawing motions with her hands - which kept making me laugh really hard, to the point of almost wetting my pants. And we did attack him like Spider Monkeys… and guess who ended up with hickeys all over his neck? Do not ever tell a woman that she WILL NOT do something… because guess what? She (and her best friend) WILL do it! With a vengeance!

Adam had to play golf the next day, and when he called us while we were at the pool, we asked how his neck was feeling. He said that his golf buddies said “Damn you must have had a good night with the wife!” and he had to explain that one side was from his wife and the other side was from his wife’s best friend. How much do you want to bet that he did not explain to them that we attacked him like drunken spider monkeys in a bar on a mission? I’m pretty sure that he just let the golf guys think that he has got it good like that!  :smug:

Today is Monica’s birthday - YAY MONICA!!!  She is turning a very young 29.  Please go over and wish her a very Happy Birthday.