There is nothing worse in this world then driving in your car on the interstate when you see a nasty, black, hairy spider crawl out from the ceiling of your car on the inside above your head - which happened to me!  I searched the car and found some baby wipes and went to kill it, but when I pulled the wipes away…NO SPIDER.  DAMMIT!  Now that nasty thing is loose in the car and pissed.  The cars around me are already pissed cause I am swerving like a sailor leaving the bars at the beach at 2am.  Of course it shows up on my leg five minutes later, causing me to further freak out and swerve.  GOD I HATE BUGS!

I am taking Kaiden to her first concert (well first one outside of my belly) tomorrow night.  We are going to see The Wailers and 311 - she really likes The Wailers and lawn tickets were on sale for $10.00, so what the hell, we are going!

My eye is healing.  I got the stitches out, but now I have to wear this tape on my eye for two weeks and I cannot wear makeup - UGGHHH!

I am getting VERY excited for Dena, Nadine and I’s Farewell to Summer Party that we are throwing Labor Day weekend.  I hope lots of people show up and it becomes a yearly tradition!  It truly is going to be the Best Party EVAH!

I went out of town to my buddy Nadine’s parent’s cabin a couple weeks ago and Todd, Nadine and her hubby Kevin played Spades.  Now I have never really played spades, but I learned - I also learned the my husband and Kevin are some shit-talkin mother-f—kers!  It was Nadine and I against them and they talked shit the entire time.  We are now going to try and get together once a month and play, so Nadine and I gave our team a name - “Spade Tight” and had ourselves some T-Shirts made and gave ourselves some ghetto Spades names - I am “Queen Lil Mac” and Nadine is “MC Vanilla Crusha”.  You can see the front here and the back here.  Who’s gonna be talkin shit now?

Here are a couple of news stories that made me chuckle today:

‘Viva La Bam’ uncle held on sex charges
Reality television’s Vincent “Don Vito” Margera, uncle of “Viva La Bam” star Bam Margera, was held without bond Saturday on a charge of sexual assault on a child.  Margera, 50, was arrested Friday night after a skateboarding event at a Lakewood mall. He is accused of two incidents of sexual assault on a child, city spokeswoman Stacie Oulton said. She said the charges involved inappropriate touching.

Cruise No Longer Top Gun at Paramount
The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday that Paramount Pictures has decided not to continue its partnership with Hollywood’s most powerful celebrity, citing his recent off-camera behavior as its main reason for discontinuing the 14-year relationship

I am in the middle of a blog re-design, so please excuse the mess around here.  I felt I needed something new, fresh and clean around here to boost up my blogging mojo!

Summertime is in full swing, so I have been spending less time inside around a computer and more time at the pool and the beach and at Bush Gardens and where ever else you can take the kiddos.  We are all tan and having a blast spending quality family time together.

We have had terrential downpours here in Virginia for the last week.  Have you ever experienced taking two children and all associated backpacks and lunchboxes to school in the pouring down rain?  I would rather poke burning hot scissors into my eyes than take my kids to school in the rain!!!!

I have been really busy at work lately - really busy!  This has been majorly cutting into my blog posting/reading time.  I swear I am going to go around and catch up.  No seriously, I really am.

I have decided to cave and get the kids a puppy.  He is an English Bulldog.  He will be born on July 7th, via C-Section and will be able to come home at the end of August.  I get to be there for the delivery.  We are going to name him Knox!

Clothes at the local Surf Shop are ridiculously priced.  One pair of men’s shorts are 45 dollars.  I spent WAY too much money in WRV the other day on clothes for my husband.  But he did deserve some new clothes, I cannot remember the last time we bought him new clothes, other than pants for work, etc.

Anybody out there know CSS well enough to fix my damn footer down there - it is about to make me slit my f—king wrists!  Uggggghhhhhh!!!

Does anyone else use Yahoo as their homepage?  Are they going to launch the new site already or what?  I mean seriously.

A collection of thoughts and other stuff not worthy of a full post.

Tonight was Kaiden’s Dance Recital.  She did much better in the recital than she did at the rehearsal, meaning she actually participated instead of just playing with her costume.  Ashton made the evening REAL enjoyable for everyone, especially Dad, when he would not stop screaming and crying for anything!  All of the family was there and so was her boyfriend Ethan.  She scored in the flower department big time, getting roses from Grandma, Mom & Dad and from Ethan.  I’ll post some pics from the stage later.

Kaiden has had two proud mommy moments this week.  The first one was earlier in the week when her and I were making sandwiches for lunch and she nicely said to me “Mom, can you pass the f—king jelly?”  The second came this morning when her brother was in her room getting on her nerves so she called him “a little son of a bitch!”  All kids do this, right?

We went to fly kites again at Mt. Trashmore today.  We went up the mountain this time and the wind was really blowing.  Todd had been holding the kite for a while and I asked if I could have a turn.  He handed it to me and said “now hold onto it tight, cause it is really windy,”  to which I replied, “I think I can fly a kite Todd, but thanks for your concern.”  Two seconds after I got it, a gust of wind blew and grabbed the kite right out out of my hand.  It went flying down the mountain and the string TOTALLY wrapped all over this guy that was walking.  Todd had to go down and apologize for us and get our kite back - DUH!

My two year old Ashton has been full of surprises lately as far as his speech and vocabulary go.  I was amazed when I heard him coming down the stairs and counting as he came down, all the way to ten.  This week I discovered that the boy knows his colors and can point them out.  Blue, red, black, yellow, green, purple - he shocked me!

My weightloss has been SUCKING lately.  I gained 8 pounds back during the whole pack/move/clean timeframe and have only been able to get 3 of those pounds back off.  I don’t know if it is a plataeu or what, but it sucks and I will have to spend this week working even harder to get back on track.

The last 5 to 6 months have been a HUGE learning experience for me - I mean HUGE!  The one thing that is the hardest thing for me to grasp is patience.  I cannot for the life of me master this one simple trait.  I want to so bad, I am trying like hell - but is the hardest thing to get under control.  How do you do it?  How do you become a patient person and stay a patient person.  Is there a trick?  I wish I knew, so it would be easier.  Until then, I will keep trying.

I found this image while surfing the web somewhere and for some reason it struck a nerve in me, so I thought I would share it.  Read it, then read it again.  Isn’t it just the truth?  Isn’t that how every woman wants to feel?  I could not have worded it better myself!

A collection of thoughts and other stuff not worthy of a full post.

I thought I would post my usual Saturday’s Sundries post, since my slack-ass did not post it on Saturday! So what if it’s Monday! So, lets get started, shall we?

Last week, Kaiden fell at school and banged herself up pretty bad - her whole elbow and knee on one side were pretty bloody. My child does not take pain too well and always milks it for ALL it’s worth. She would not let me take the bandaids off for like five days. Finally I got her to take them off in the bathtub and told her they had to stay off so the cuts could heal. After bath and pajamas, we went downstairs to watch some T.V. Kaiden starts gagging and dry heaving (the child has zero gag reflex and pukes at the drop of a hat) and screaming “Oh God, what’s that smell? Mommy do you smell it? What is it?” I could not smell anything. Then she screams “Oh it’s my boo-boos mommy, why do they stink so bad?” She came over to me and it took everything in me not to puke too - they stunk cause she would not take those damn bandaids off. We had to dab perfume around the perimeter of the boo-boos so that we could tolerate her funky stench till they aired out - blech! Just thought I would share!!!

Does anyone else suffer from Blog Guilt? Good lord people, I have been slack at posting and reading and for some reason I feel guilty as hell. I have been legitimately busy lately and really have not had the time, but geesh - the guilt!!!

On Saturday, Dena and I took the kids to the Zoo. Ashton has been really in to animals lately and I wanted him to be able to see them. Ethan and Kaiden ran around like out of control monkey’s and did not listen to a word we said all day. They also had quite the lover’s spat, which you can read about here. All in all it was a great day! Seriously - go read about the fight, it was hilarious!

If you are 40 years old, riding a moped down a busy street, wearing a construction hard hat as your helmet and toting a milk crate on the back of the moped to carry your tools in, then you may as well attach a sign that says “I am a big fat loser that got three DUI’s and now I am forced to take the Moped to work!” Just sayin….

On Sunday, it was picture day for Kaiden’s Ballet school. The recital is on the 20th, and we had to go get the photos done yesterday. Here is a picture of her and her friend Haley in there little outfits. Kaiden hates the outfit because it’s blue and not pink - and it is a known fact, according to Kaiden, that pretty ballerinas wear pink! They will be performing a little tap number to “I’m Just a Broadway Baby.” Her class is the second performance in the first act - thank god!!!! So we can book it the hell out of there early!

Okay, I am done!

Today I spoke to a friend of mine from high school that I haven’t talked to in god knows how long.  It was good to catch up and she seems to be doing really well for herself.  Had you known either of us in high school, it is a miracle that we have made it this far!!!  We have made some plans to get together - for yoga, which will be a first for me, but hey, what girl couldn’t use a little more flexability…if you know what I mean!

Tomorrow is going to be a really windy day.  My husband and I are going to breakfast together in the morning, then buying the kids some kites and taking them to fly them.  It will be a really fun day, I’m sure.

I have made a lot of great friends online.  Two of which are Amy and Delane from “Life in Mayberry,” who I am convinced are the perfect couple and the perfect parents!  They will be coming up to Virginia Beach tomorrow and Dena and I plan to catch up with them for some dinner and fun!  I am very excited to meet them.  I just hope that after meeting me and my two heathens, they will continue to frequent my site.

I want to make sure that I note this weekend - the weekend of April 8th, because it is a good one.  A really good one!

Every Saturday I take Kaiden to dance class and every week I wait the hour in the lobby with the other mothers and every week it is freakin 108 degrees in there.  Can’t these people turn on some damn air conditioning or break out a fan or something.  It is pretty sad that we all find excuses to go to the grocery store next door week after week just to get a little air.  Last week I went for Froot Loops and tampons and before I could get to the register, three of the other mom’s were in the store to see if I needed help picking out the tampons.  Today, one mom went to get a card for a family member…I was real tempted to follow and see if she needed my card picking expertise!

I was able to snap a shot of Miss Joan’s license plate, you know the one mentioned previously... so for your viewing pleasure, here you go: