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Aug
19
2009

Champ Scanlon

image

Today, after I went home and made myself a sandwich for lunch, I decided to take it to the pool to eat it with Dena, Kaiden and Ethan.  Kaiden stayed home from summer camp today to hang with them.  As we were all sitting around the table, Ethan says “Misty, did you know that a baby can be born with two heads?  I saw it on T.V.”  to which I replied “I did know that, it is called Siamese Twins” and then I immediately followed that with “Ashton was a Siamese twin” - don’t ask me why things like this pop into mine or Dena’s heads… they just do, and we run with them.  So immediately Dena starts backing me on the story.

We explained to Kaiden and Ethan that Ashton was born with a little tiny head next to his regular sized head and that it was his twin brother.  We named him “Champ Scanlon”  We told them that we had to have Champ removed, because their lives would have sucked had we allowed Champ to live.  Champ would have probably had some control over their body and because he would always be jealous of Ashton’s normal sized head, he would do stuff with their body that would embarrass Ashton, like making them fart when Ashton was talking to a pretty girl or something.  We said that Champ would have this whiny little baby voice because of how small his head was that would have gotten on everyone’s nerves.  So we decided to have Champ surgically removed after they were born and we buried him in a shoebox.  Of course they were completely interested and started asking a ton of questions… which we answered very straight-faced:

Q: What did Champ look like?
A: He looked a lot more like Todd.  He looked exactly like Todd, but with a tiny head.

Q: Did it hurt Ashton?  Where did they cut him?
A: It was on the side of his neck, he had a little scar for a while, but it’s gone now.  He was a baby, so he doesn’t remember the surgery.

Q: Did we meet Champ?
A: Yes, You both met him in the hospital before he was cut off.  You were almost 3 years old, so you may not remember.

Q: Do you think Ashton would have loved Champ?
A: No, I think Champ would have been a pain in the neck that got on Ashton’s nerves.  Good riddance to Champ.  He certainly would not have grown up to live up to his name.

Q: Where did you bury Champ?
A: We shoved his tiny head in a shoebox and buried him in a graveyard somewhere… I don’t even remember which one, we did not love Champ very much, so it didn’t matter.

Then I had to leave to go back to work… so I told Dena to keep it going and that we would all discuss it again when I got off work, so I could try and capture some of the great conversation on camera.  Should be a GREAT conversation.

R.I.P Champ… R.I.P.

Jul
17
2009

Memory Lane: Bobbsey Twins

Bobbsey Twins

Memory Lane… I scan an old random photo and discuss the story behind the photo.  I may regret this decision later on… my friends definitely will.

This is a photo of me and my friend Kristen in Junior High on our way to some Halloween party.  We had nothing to wear and everyone was dressing up, so this was our attempt at costumes - we were the Bobbsey Twins… except we were not mixed-gender fraternal twins like the real Bobbsey Twins, we were just a couple of retards.  I remember laughing so damn hard this night curling our bangs, putting on those stupid suspenders (that hiked our awesome rolled up jean shorts up our crotches giving us mega camel-toes) and then seriously searching the house for “accessories” to attach to the suspenders - I went with a lovely squeaky frog and she chose an elegant hot dog man that you could squeeze his back and open his arms.  But that was what was so great about most of my friendships - it took next to nothing to make us laugh for hours.  It is still like that with my friends.

Jul
15
2009

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Jun
29
2009

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Mar
13
2009

My First Love Note

When I was in 7th Grade, I met the first love of my life.  He was one of the best looking guys at our Junior High and lucky for me - we “went out” on and off through most of Junior High.  He was a typical surfer guy and was way too cool to be all lovey dovey in front of our friends or to write me love notes while we were at school - although he was a really funny guy and I have lots of great memories with him.  While unpacking my stuff at the new place I did happen to stumble upon the first and ONLY note I ever received from him and it made me chuckle.  He had such a way with words for a 7th grader.  Ahhhh, memories…  click below to enlarge.

Junior High Love Note

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