Dena just emailed me an old photo of us and made me pee in my pants.  This was taken in 2000 at Bush Gardens.  Our boss (the guy to the left of me in the picture w/ his wife) took all the women in the office to “The Kings Mill” in Williamsburg, VA for the weekend.  Limos picked us up on Friday morning from work to wisk us away for our weekend of pampering.  Dena and I stayed drunk the entire weekend, starting before the limos got to the office that Friday.

Everyone got their own rooms, but Dena and I chose to bunk together.  On Friday night we went to Bush Gardens.  Saturday, we all had Spa Appointments.  Saturday night we had a four star dinner.  During the dinner we had to be moved to a private room, because we were so loud.  Also in this room were all the guys from Bacardi USA.  Towards the end of the meal, my boss made me stand on my chair and tell a really nasty joke to the entire room.  We were then invited to one of the Kings Mill bars to drink, where the guys from Bacardi picked up our $3,000.00 bar tab.  Our boss had never been so proud of us - of course, Dena and I had to be escourted out the back door of the bar and driven to our room in a golf cart at 2:00 in the morning (due to promises we made in order to get the tab paid for).  Dena somehow pursuaded the Kings Mill employee to let her drive, making that night the first time I ever went 4-wheelin in a Golf Cart!  The next week back at the office, we received a couple of cases of Bacardi, with a card that said, “Thanks for a good time!”

Man, that was a fun weekend!  Thanks for emailing me the picture, Dena!

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Every year, thousands (not exagerating) of foreign workers come to Virginia Beach to try to find jobs for the summer.  They come on the promise of work and the knowledge that they can make more here in a summer than they could make at home in a year.  They have no car, no family and no place to stay.  They are from Poland, Russia, Ukraine, Lithuania - the list goes on and on.  They usually end up walking up and down the street begging for a place to stay for the summer.

Yesterday, when my husband got home from work, he was pulling up the trash cans from the street and was approached by (2) of them.  They were dressed in very skimpy clothes and had on bright red lipstick that was not at all within the perimeter of their lips, apparently these girls are not taught how to color in the lines growing up.

They asked my husband if we had a room for rent.  He told them sorry, but we did not.  Then one of them stepped uncomfortably close to him and said “We perform favors for room to stay.”  He backed up one step and said he was sorry, but no and came into the house.  WTF?  I cannot believe that they are now walking up and down the streets offering blow jobs for a place to stay.  I told Todd he should of said yes, cause he ain’t gettin that shit from me and to ask them if they babysit!

There is this homeless woman that has been around this area for a long time.  You can usually see her riding a bike with a ton of bags all over it.  She rides around begging for money.  In the summer, she trades in her bike for a wheelchair, so she can really milk the tourists for some money by playing the sympathy card - but the locals know better.

Now this lady is really creepy looking.  She is little and very weathered looking.  She has stringy shoulder length grey/blond hair.  But the worst thing about her is her little tag line.  She goes by you and waits until after you pass her then turns her head cock-eyed at you and says “dolla for a travela?” in a very scratchy voice.  When she says it, it will send chills up your spine!

Dena and I usually see her on our walks at night and when she says it to us, we say “Your not a travela, you have to actually leave once in a while to be a travela!” - then we run like hell!

Every place has weirdos, what are yours like?

I am the oldest of three siblings.  We are all two years apart.  There is me, my sister Kelly and my brother Billy.  I was your typical older sister growing up, putting Kelly and Billy through utter hell, whenever an opportunity yielded itself.

When I was in elementary school, the other neighborhood kids and I were in a “club,” like most kids that age were.  I can’t even remember what the club was for?  But what I do remember was that my sister wanted to be in that club, bad!  After weeks of begging I finally told her that she could join, but only if she made it through the club initiation (later I would learn that the correct term for this is hazing).

Here was what she had to do:

FIRST
She had to pick up enough pine needles off the ground around the pine trees in the yard to fill her fist.  She then had to let me repeatedly prick the inside of her arm with them for (1) minute

SECOND
She had to climb on top of the shed in the back yard and jump off of it, and land on her feet.  She could not bend her legs in the process.

THIRD
She had to walk blindfolded through one of our neighbor’s yards, who was notorious for not cleaning up after their (3) large dogs, for three minutes and could not step in dog mess.

If she completed all three, she could join the club.  Somehow, she did it.  She completed all three!  We could not believe that she did it.  So when it was time to let her in the club, much to my surprise (wink), the club decided to break up and a new club was formed.  She did not want to go through initiation again, so she opted to go make a club with her friends, and let me know that I would not be allowed in her club.

Looking back, I cannot believe how mean my sister, brother and I were to each other (especially me and my sister against my brother-but those stories are for later).  It amazes that we are so close now.  I wonder if Kaiden will be that way with Ashton?  I feel very sorry for him if she is.